you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
