Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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