so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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