Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
