Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sobbing to NWA
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
