Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
