new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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