Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
