He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
