i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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