my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
