it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
