i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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