Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
