she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
