I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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