I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
