handjob tips. give me some.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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