are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Soap is not a condiment
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
