You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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