She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
