Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
