meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
