Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
