Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
