I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
