i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
