I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
These 19 Menâ€™s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.