Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over