Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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