lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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