What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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