In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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