you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
