I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
