I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
