So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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