Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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