Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
