she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
