We won't sleep together?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
