He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
