The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
