i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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