i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize