i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
