I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
