I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
