The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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