I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
