i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize