More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
