Say something about gay babies.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
