So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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