last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
