Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dear god my vagina.
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