hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
