garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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