So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
